amazing talent

Incredible video clip. If you love live music and you've never heard of Jon McLaughlin before, you really should consider picking up his music. Follow this link and scroll down to middle of page to watch a recent live performance.

The good, the bad, and the really ugly

Cathartic. Healing. Restoration. Peace.

It's amazing how just reading or hearing a word can evoke feeling in one's mind. I was thinking today about how Scripture says "Life and Death are in the power of the tongue." Sometimes we take too lightly the things we say.

I had an incident about 2 weeks ago that reminded me, in a big way, of the power of words. I hadn't been in a shouting match in over a year. In fact, up until the recent encounter I'm referring to actually took place, I can't remember the last serious argument I was in.

When you're not careful in a fight, there can come a point in the conversation where you say something you shouldn't. We've probably all been on both sides of a painful word or accusation before, and it's not fun. The second those dreaded words escaped my lips, the look I saw on the other person's face caused me immediate caution, when it should have caused me immediate remorse. To be perfectly honest, in that moment I knew I shouldn't have said what I did - it was a direct hit - but I wasn't sorry.

The feeling of regret struck some hours later. And THAT bothered me.

There is a line in a song I love by Barry and Michelle Patterson. They refer to how they want to be "The first one to repent." I want to be that person.

When I was a little girl, I wasn't bossy, I just always thought I was right. I guess as we get older, some things change, and others stay the same. One thing that has always been the same with me, is the overuse of commas. Clearly. Another is a love of movie quoting. These two examples are just part of who I am, and are basically okay just the way they are. It's the ugly things that seem so much harder to grow out of.

When discussing this very argument later that day with my mom, she made an interesting observation. She gently told me that as a child I suffered from the inability to admit when I was wrong. Me!? NO! (I'll admit it, even when I was really small, I would know I was wrong; my mind would be screaming at me to just admit it, or just apologize and I still wouldn't. Ah, the joys of childhood). I hope this has gotten better. If my recent verbal battle and subsequent remorse are any gauge of my heart in the 'quickly repenting' category, I've got something to work on. Or should I say, something MORE to work on.

It's been said that confession brings healing. I had lunch with our sales rep for the local ABC affiliate recently and she shared something that meant a lot to me. Although she sells TV time to advertisers, her heart's desire, and natural gifting lies in therapy. Counseling. We were discussing our personal hang-ups and things we're working through on our respective journeys and she said this. "It's good to recognize the process." In so many words, as long as we see something in our life, even if we don't know HOW (quite yet) to be different, we can make an effort to change. It's good to know where we're at in the process of working through something. We can take these things to the Lord. Sometimes He sovereignly moves, and other times we must move toward Him. Either way - it's growth and progress.

Now I'm not going to say any change is easy. Who likes to admit when they've messed up? For me, it's all about quicker turn around. I want to be sincere, honest, quick to forgive, and the first one to repent.

Cathartic. Healing. Restoration. Peace. That's what these honest admissions of my own 'ugly' have been for me.

sick family photo

sick family photo
Originally uploaded by amberleebs.

This picture seriously made me belly laugh. I was going through the archives at Lacey and Jon's and I found this nasty-top-o'-the-mornin' shot. Cracks me up.

village worship

I love fresh, living, new-to-me, worship albums... This one has been in my ears night and day. Every song is incredible... and comes to you highly recommended.

Prank you very much

For those of you who maybe haven't checked out my blog in a few days, you'll see that I made a new discovery -- Audio posts. Yeah, I'm going crazy with it.

Before you listen to the newest post, you HAVE to read the following story - otherwise, it won't be nearly as humorous.

Some weeks ago, my brother-in-law Jon prank called one of his buddies named Steve. Basically, he disguised his voice to sound like a little kid, and told Steve that he shouldn't run around the house without any clothes on anymore, because he saw him. Jon (as the little boy), told Steve that he went and told his mom when he saw Steve indecent in his house, and she said to tell him never to do that again. Little did Jon know that his 'little boy' voice was incredibly similar to that of the next-door neighbor boy, and that Steve HAD in fact had a 'naked incident' earlier that week. Apparently Steve had been doing laundry and forgot all of the towels in the laundry room, so he had to take a little nudy-trip there after his shower. What are the chances?

The following are 2 messages from Jon and Lacey's answering machine. The first one is Steve's response to the prank - totally cracking up, and might I add, very Northern sounding. The second one is me calling to impersonate him, again, trying to be very northern. These messages have been saved on their answering machine for a long time now, and Jon suggested that we post them. (Editor's note - there is some strange noise at the beginning of the first message... this IS in fact Steve laughing...) Enjoy. (Hopefully you'll find it as hilarious as we do).

blog worthy?

image008
Originally uploaded by grraniml.

I found this while doing a flickr search - interesting... and somehow intriguing at 12:45 am...

Audio post

Click below to hear my niece Ella & I.

Ambition, or Amber-ition?

So I was laying in bed this morning watching the final few episodes of the 1st season of Arrested Development on DVD when my dad poked his head into my room and we had the following exchange:

DAD: "You didn't answer your phone."
ME: "Oh sorry, I had it on silent so no one would wake me up... Wait a minute, you called me from upstairs??"
DAD: "No. I called you from outside the door."
ME: "Well, what did you say?"
DAD: "I'm too tired to repeat the whole message."
ME: "So you're standing right here and I have to play the voicemail??"
DAD: (no response).

I guess we know where I get the energy to be so active on Saturday morning.

Epiphany

I’ve been debating how best to word this post since I was getting ready for work this morning. How do you communicate an item of positive self-discovery without tooting your own horn? I’ve resolved myself to just sharing because I’m excited, and you’ll just have to trust that I am not getting a big head about it. :)

The other day, I was running errands for work and I was listening to the radio. The DJ who works 11 to 7 was on and he was cracking me up. I’d always been the type of listener that just goes with the flow… tuning out the jabber between songs, changing stations when an ad came on, flipping from a song I didn’t care for… until I got this job.

Ever since I’ve been working for a production company, I practically turn up the volume when the commercials come on. I’m always listening to hear the ads I’ve written – making sure that the station’s broadcast level is good, signal is clear, and always checking the clock to see what time they aired it to make sure we’re getting the best possible exposure during our limited :30 seconds. It’s obsessive, I know. All of that to say this – This particular DJ, whose radio name is Tim Taylor and I met up several weeks ago when the station was doing a live remote during our ‘Be A Star – Win A Car’ auditions at the new dealership. We chit chatted and laughed and he turned out to be the nicest guy, and new to the area. Now when I have a chance to hear him during the day, I am always totally tuned in to hear what funny thing he’ll say. Basically, I can put a name to the voice now, and I am enjoying it.

So anyway, back to the other day… I’m listening to him and I decide, ‘What the heck? I’m just going to call and tell him he’s doing a great job.’ And I did… I waited for the commercials to end and a new song to start, and then I called. Once he put 2 and 2 together he was surprised I had called. And who wouldn’t be? How many times do you get a call at work just because someone thinks you’re funny? Okay, maybe you hilarious readers of mine have, but I haven’t… and apparently neither had he. He thanked me, but he basically just sat there dumbfounded. This is the point in the conversation where I gracefully (and by gracefully I mean, really awkwardly) said ‘Alright, well, good job, bye!’

It wasn’t one of those things that I immediately regretted, and I don’t really now either, it was just one of those WHY moments. Even this morning, I’m in the shower and I’m thinking – WHY did I do that? It wasn’t stupid of me, it was kind actually, but WHY? What came over me, and actually pushed me the point of dialing and calling a stranger? And then it hit me. This is the epiphany that the whole post is about. It’s just how I am, and it’s probably a hint at what I’m made for.

For those of you who are avid Amber-blog readers, you’ll remember a certain message I mentioned a couple of weeks ago. It was the one where a pastor I heard explained that a big part of finding God’s will for your life is looking at what you love, what you’re good at, what you enjoy doing, and then reasoning that there’s probably a really valid reason for it. Maybe it’s part of what you’re created to do. Now, I realize this thought process, and the way that I have written it is quite disjointed, but stay with me.

So I’m shampooing, I ask the WHY questions, and then a hundred pieces come flying together. Bam! Realization.

I’ve always done this. When I lived in Tulsa, I found the 40 year old mother who was estranged from her kids and invited her to Thanksgiving dinner. When the local NBC affiliate hired a young, new journalist out of Chicago and she didn’t know anyone, I invited her to hang out with my established group of friends. A client of ours contacted me recently about helping out with the 18 year old daughter of their German affiliate’s plant manager. She’ll be over here for a month visiting and he needs someone to take her under wing, and show her around. He called me. Now, I find out this DJ just moved here 3 months ago, doesn’t know anyone except people at the station, and I instinctively (and without much forethought; obviously) reach out to him.

This is the point where the whole “To post or not to post” quandary started. I realize that what I’ve typed could be construed as me patting myself on the back for loving the lonely or downtrodden, but that’s not the purpose. Writing is therapy. Putting things on paper can make something mentally disjointed come together. That’s what this is all about. This is me, growing.

Maybe all this ‘seeking others out’ is a reflection of something deeper. Something my life is meant to be… I’m awakening to this, and it’s thrilling to me. I think that God was speaking to me between rolling out of bed and getting dressed this morning. It’s just the beginning of some sort of wake up, but it’s grassroots direction for sure.

I know that connecting with the outsider and pulling them in is part of who God made me. I just never realized it, until today. I guess I know what it’s like to be friend-less because I’ve lived that before, and now I’m on a mission to make sure the people around me don’t feel like that.

I love when God gives us understanding and insight. And not just insight… direction for life.

The guys

production 2
Originally uploaded by amberleebs.

Here's a shot I took during our shoot today. We're finishing up a project for Weyerhaeuser, so we were trekking through a huge sawmill. I've learned a ton about PPE (personal protective equipment), properly using a forklift, and the benefits of wearing steel toed shoes... It's a job, right?!

Matt, Amber, Mark

all 3
Originally uploaded by amberleebs.

Mark totally cracks me up in this shot, I was like, 'Can you even see the camera?' We were in a room where they warned us not to touch anything 'caustic.' This is the very reason he claimed to be uncomfortable standing so close to me. Thanks, Mark. As for me in the hard hat and orange, yeah, not my finest moment, that's all I'm going to say...

Consider this a little yellow sticky note...

I'm just taking a minute out of my LONG day to write this small post. Two things:

1. Yeah, the pictures are yellow, it's the lighting, but I wanted you to get a taste of production as it is with a 3 man crew... or should I say 2 men/1 woman crew? (Welcome to my life!)

2. The Grand Traverse Mazda "Be A Star - Win A Car" promotion (from here on out referred to affectionately as 'My Baby'), is trucking right along. Should you feel so inclined to check out the site, the top five finalists' videos have been posted, so feel free to check them out. Online voting starts this Saturday, so do me a favor and help a sister out! (Don't worry I'll harp on... I mean, remind you, again this weekend).

Thanks to all!

frivolity parade

It hardly seems fair to you for me to write such an insignificant post. But I have to today. I have to because this is the last thing I should be doing right now. I have to clean my car, clean myself, do some power shopping for something to wear to a wedding I have this afternoon, and then actually go to it. So much to do... but I wanted to give you a brief update.

Olivia is presently in Las Vegas. She and her 2 friends are still on their journey to California. They'll be living in Oceanside (southern Cali), so they stayed last night with an aunt and are finishing up the last of the trek. She is having a great time and doing well. (My mom is surviving...)

Also, I did meet with Josh, the Average Joe, and that was quite the experience. What he's envisioning is a pretty big job, but he feels that I can handle it - so I'm hired. I learned a lot about the ins-and-outs of the show, and some of his uncensored thoughts on NBC, although I'm sure he was supposed to keep his lip zipped. In short, this guy THRIVES on controversy... perfect for reality TV. At any rate, I don't know when it will happen, but I'll keep you post-ed. hehe.

Okay - Starting Monday check out gtmazda.com to view the entries for our "Be A Star -Win A Car" promotion. The top 5 entries have been chosen and you'll be able to watch their auditions online. Voting starts a week from today - the 23rd, so check back and cast your vote. The more the merrier. I'll be sure and give you a reminder.

Alright - enough of this frivolity parade. I've got a day to tackle!

ponytail

ponytail
Originally uploaded by amberleebs.

Here's a picture I took of myself about a month ago. It's funny, looks like no hair and like 1/2 of my face is larger than the other...

Big news all around

It's been a few days since I have posted, and boy do I have some updates for you!

It's not everyday you meet a celebrity, at least, not for me. Tomorrow is a different story. I'm meeting Joshua Smith. What? Never heard of him? Maybe it's because you haven't watched the new reality TV line-up on NBC. Josh is a recent kick-off (Elimination? Cast away? Vote off? Loser?) of the new Average Joe. He's from Traverse City, which is an hour north of here, and he needs some publicity photos taken. Gotta stretch out that fifteen minutes when you have the chance! Apparently he's had a makeover since he was on the show. Don't ask how, but somehow my name got thrown into the mix. So we're meeting for a portfolio review tomorrow night... We'll see if I get hired or not...

Secondly, and even bigger, is my sister news. We just found out that my sister Lacey and her hubby Jon are expecting again. Lacey figures that they'll have sweet baby #2 around March, just as Ella's turning 2. This was a surprise to us, but not to them. They are thrilled - and so am I. Olivia is packing up her new car and heading out to California tomorrow. Her plans are to attend FIDM (The Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising), but she needs to establish her state residency before she enrolls... so off she goes.

It's amazing to me how much a few months can change you life. It's sad to see Livy go, but I feel like this is the right thing for her, and that brings peace to my mind. I am sure there will be a few sad days, but if this is the right thing for her, then she's GOT to go for it. All my best to you Olivia, I love and will miss you dearly.

In other news that's completely unrelated (and uncalled for)... My brother-in-law has requested that I include a troubling story from this past Sunday afternoon. He and I led worship at a church over here in Lake City. The service in LC began and ended before the service we usually attend in Cadillac, so we decided to head over there and catch up with everyone else. When we arrived there was still about 20 minutes remaining in the service, so rather than interrupting, we just waited in the foyer area; looking at calendars, bulletin boards, and poking around the information desk. As we're walking from board to board, reading about the members of the congregation who are serving overseas, looking at pictures from recent church events, and so on, this lady wanders out muttering to herself. Our back is to her when she seriously lets out... a toot. It's obvious that she did, and we heard it. It was one of those moments where your breath catches in your throat as you desperately try to hold in your laughter. I'm standing there like 'Don't look at Jon, don't look at Jon.' Of course, I do glance over at Jon who's eyes are the size of saucers and I can tell he's biting his tongue too. Once she finally walked away, I wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes, and Jon was like "Who does that?" Needless to say, it was a hilarious, immature and torture-filled 2 minutes...

How do I gracefully segue back to paying tribute to Olivia? I guess there's no easy way other than saying this...

Liv, I am so proud of you. Our lives have definitely taken some strange, unexpected and exciting turns over the past few years. I could have been given brothers, I could have been given siblings that I don't really click with... but that's not what I got. I got sisters who love the Lord, love each other, and have amazing senses of humor. I could spend my whole life laughing, crying and hugging with you and I don't think it would ever get old. Unfortunately that's not always how life is. So remember this:

Adventures are to be experienced. Hard times are to be walked THROUGH. The reward of obedience, no matter how emotionally draining and full of twists and turns it can be is worth every ounce of the effort it takes. God honors the pursuits that He ordains, and the people who love Him. I know Cali is the place He's called you to for this stage in your life. Always remember Proverbs 3:5&6, you can stick it in your back pocket and take it anywhere. "Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, lean NOT on your OWN understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him (first) and HE WILL direct your paths." Mom, Dad, Lacey, Jon, Ella and I love you immeasurably and are praying for you every step of the way... But regardless of how much we love you - Jesus still loves you more, and He'll be with you - even all the way on the west coast.

I love you.

Hmmm... kinda cool.

I stumbled on to the most interesting website today. Just thought I would share. This got me thinking about how everyone has a story. Which then led me to consider the reasons I love to blog. (Sorry I sometimes write in thought sequence...)

1. It's much easier to write a blog about your personal experiences, thoughts, and what's new just one time, than it is to write virtually the same thing over and over to everyone you keep in touch with. (Case in point, writing thank you's after a big event...) Plus, it's more personal than writing a blanket email and blind carbon copying it to everyone you know... I mean, not like I've ever done that before, I've just heard... *looks around sheepishly, clears throat* ...Moving on...

2. Writing is therapy. There's nothing better than sorting through life's issues with the feeling that you're 'sending out a cosmic question into the void' as Meg Ryan says in You've Got Mail. You can just let your thoughts drift and simmer a bit.

3. Only the people who are genuinely interested in what you're up to, or want to hear your brain stop by; those friends and strangers who truly care about you. (Or the friends and strangers who lead incredibly lame lives and somehow get a thrill out of reading about the adventures of others... again, don't know for myself, just speculating...)

4. You can find new people that you would never otherwise have 'met' along the way and then salivate over they're talent for word play, ability to make mundane tasks fun to read, or their ease at being completely and enviably transparent about their lives. These people amaze me. I salute you, honestly.

5. Admit it, 'Blog' is just plain fun to say.

6. It's a conversation that's literally inner dialogue. If we talked to all of our friends this way, we would be considered odd, but on here - completely acceptable.

7. You can vent, rant, rave, and talk things through without being interrupted (I think this goes along with the whole therapy thing).

8. Every average Joe can feel like a novelist.

9. You can convert a full website page into a modern day wallet photo album if you want. (In my brain I picture this old lady pulling out the plastic insert from her change purse as it tumbles, picture by picture down to the floor. March that lady over to a scanner and let her go nuts!)

10. Last but not least... because You're here!

Loud and Clear

I’ve been putting a lot of thought lately into this idea… How do we really know the mind of God? In the church, I’ve heard it said that Scripture is a handbook for life. Although God often speaks through His Word (and will never violate or deviate from what Scripture says), that’s not the only way God reveals His divine plans for our lives... There are various ways. The Bible tells us that there’s ‘Safety in a multitude of counselors (Proverbs 11:14)’, which basically means that God can speak to you through the encouragement of other Christians. Many people have experienced times where they were seeking God for direction and have ‘heard’ His voice. Although the Bible refers to times where the audible voice of God was heard, this isn’t exactly what I am referring to. I’m describing those times when a thought has popped into your head that you didn’t contrive, or when you’ve sensed an ‘impression’ of what you should do. These are things that 1 Corinthians chapter 2 refers to as ‘Spiritually discerned.’

This short list is basically how I always approached God when I needed an answer, when I was seeking His Will. Although I believe that the above mentioned list is scripturally accurate, I recently heard a sermon that simplified the ‘mystery’ of finding God’s will for me. I’d like to share the 2 questions the pastor asked… and like me, you may see some things shift into clearer focus in your life.

1. What do you love? (and)
2. What makes you angry?

I think sometimes we’re so busy pondering (and some times worrying about) the unknowns in our lives that we forget the simple things that encompass who we are. What do you love? What do you wake up dreaming about doing, and fall asleep hoping for? What could you spend every day of your life doing and be completely happy? What are you good at? Pastor Rob suggests that the things we like may very well point to what we are designed to do… A simple truth that has left me astounded.

His second question, “What makes you angry?” was illustrated one Sunday through various statistics he offered to the congregation. He shared statistics about world hunger, illiteracy, the staggering number of people dying from AIDS, the percentage of people around the world who don’t have safe drinking water… Every number was offered in hopes of getting some sort of emotional rise out of the congregation. With each slide revealing a new fact he asked “Does this make you angry?” The purpose of the illustration came through loud and clear. If social injustice upsets you, if hurting people around the world makes something deep down inside you ache, if you’re a plumber and you’re looking for some where to use your talent as a ministry – then do something about it.

Find what moves you… and move in that direction.

If something brings you to a place of holy anger, there’s probably a good indication that God designed you to get involved in what it takes to make it right.

As I look back over my life I can see the hand of God. There were times that He spoke to me through His Word – a simple verse that captivated me. I’ve heard him speak gently to my heart – even if it was unexpectedly at a stop light. I know that He’s gotten through to me through good Christian friends who offered me godly advice at the perfect time… But I know He’s doing something new in me – and it started when I became willing to ask myself those 2 simple questions.

…And to answer them honestly.


1 Corinthians 2:9-12
9 But, as it is written, "No eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him," 10 God has revealed this to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. 11 For what person knows a man's thoughts except the spirit of the man which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 12 Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit which is from God, that we might understand the gifts bestowed on us by God.

*For any who are interested in listening to this message in it's entirety, I promise you will be impacted and entertained. Click on the link above and scroll down until you find "Week 326 Beautifully Angry."

Independence Women

Just wanted to wish everyone a great 4th of July! My sister Olivia and I are planning to celebrate our independence by making a few bucks during our yard sale tomorrow. We're executing a little marketing plan that I hope will really pay off.

1. We're going to wear really cute outfits to attract girls who share a good sense of style.
2. We made some awesome signs that read "SWEET Yard Sale" and "Pretty much the best yard sale ever!!!"
3. We're setting up right next to the parade route.

The only thing we might have to battle is rain... we're keeping our fingers (and pocketbooks) crossed.

At any rate - I'm so grateful for our freedom and proud to be here in the US. Some of my most vivid mission trip moments were landing again on American soil. There's really no place quite like the USA.

Enjoy the grilling, parades, red-white&blue, fireworks, sparklers, family, patriotism, and boating that IS the 4th of July.