Clearing the Bar

Yesterday my sister had the last track meet of her high school career. All year long she struggled in the high jump event, and went into yesterday’s invitational feeling quite discouraged about it. This quickly evaporated when, in a picture perfect moment, she nailed the 4’11” and secured herself the 1st place medal.

It was a great moment. The weather was high 70’s and beautiful. It was an invitational sponsored by the Cadillac newspaper and each school in the area was represented, so as you can imagine the stadium was packed. My sister Lacey and I camped ourselves out in the grass near the mat and waited breathlessly as Olivia completed several unsuccessful jumps. Each time she knocked the bar over she would sigh, shake her head, and look dejectedly in our direction for support. This was our cue to encourage her. In retrospect, the nice part about it was that she didn’t have to ask – and we didn’t have to try – we just cheered her on... because we loved her.

I will never forget the moment she realized that she won. She cleared the bar, landed in the bag, and looked immediately over her shoulder to make sure the bar was still intact. It wiggled a bit and then stood triumphantly still. She immediately shouted ‘Yessss!’ and flashed a huge, toothy grin. Then she ran toward Lacey and I who were already cheering and hopping up and down. It was a messy moment of hugs, celebration, picture-taking, and kisses. As we walked back to collect our belongings arm-in-arm, one of Olivia’s classmates made a comment that both touched me, and caught me completely off guard.

‘I wish my sisters gave me that much support…’

Granted, I felt bad for her because her comment was admittedly honest, but it made me feel incredibly happy that we had been there to witness that amazing moment in Livy’s life.

After she received her medal, I couldn’t help but think about the spiritual implications of the incident. It reminded me of a scripture that my dad used to always illustrate for me. Hebrews 12:1 says, ‘Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.’

My dad used to paint this picture of Heaven and my family members who have preceded us in death. He would tell me how Heaven’s stands were full of cheering people and angels… the huge ‘great cloud of witnesses’ if you will. Scripture tells us that the Spirit of God makes intercession for us. I guess you could say that whenever you are struggling through a tough situation – you’re facing an insurmountable obstacle, trying to clear the bar – there are droves cheering you on. I am sure you could debate the hermeneutics of that scriptural interpretation, but in my 5 year old mind, it was all the encouragement I needed. I wanted to ‘lay off the sin that so easily beset me and run with diligence’ the life that pleased God. I still think of this today.

As I walked past the cheering stands I thought – this is how heaven must be when we make a decision for Christ. We are definitely not alone in this race… We are encompassed with a GREAT cloud of witnesses.

TGI... S!

I’m so glad that it’s Sunday. I had an incredibly busy, albeit enjoyable, week – and am looking forward to a relaxing afternoon today and a break tomorrow as well.

Last Thursday evening after work, my girlfriend Laura and I headed south about 2 hours to Grand Rapids to see Les Miserables at the Devos Center. We left Cadillac around 5:30 pm and got there in just enough time to grab a couple of refreshments and head to our seats. DeVos Center is a pretty big place, so you’d think there would be plenty of ushers in starched maroon vests to point you in the correct direction of your seats, but not so fast! Laura and I wandered around the lobby and then in the direction that most people were headed (like cattle)… upstairs. Once we got within inches of our assigned seats, an usher finally appeared. (This is where it starts to become entertaining). While he’s checking the tickets of the couple in front of us, I notice his name is Les. What are the chances that you’re going to see Les Mis and the first guy you meet is Les? (I jotted it down on a scrap of paper so I wouldn’t forget to include it in this post. I found out later that Laura was looking over my shoulder and considered correcting my poor grammar for writing ‘Usher Les’ instead of ‘Usherless’ which is what that place was!).

We got settled in and the show began. Within the first act I laughed AND cried. I was moved by the music, the characters, the message.

At the first intermission, the lights came up revealing the second of the evening’s highlights. There was a family sitting in front of us, and the dad looked EXACTLY like Quentin Tarantino! I am still lamenting the fact that I don’t have a camera phone. (Neither did anyone else around me, you know I was asking strangers if they had one!) Unfortunately I can’t include a picture of the QT look alike, but you can ask Laura if you don’t believe me…

This friendly older couple sitting on the other side of Laura started a conversation about the show, asking how she liked it so far. The man was expressive and had a strong German-sounding accent. He was obviously thrilled about the show, because everything he said was dripping not only with his strong accent… but spit. Laura turned to me and couldn’t resist being both a little horrified and cracking up that he was spitting all over her face as he spoke. She toweled off as the lights began to dim for the second act. People were settling into their chairs and finishing their conversations when the 3rd highlight (first) happened.

Now, explaining this one requires a measure of tact to properly deliver. You would think in a huge theater where each seat costs at least $50, people would exercise a bit of etiquette. You would think. Apparently someone forgot to give the ‘remember your manners’ memo to the 14 year old in front of us…

Flatulence...
A lot.
Bad!
Amber and Laura laughing like 3rd graders.
…And gagging.
Enough said?

Once the show was finished, I found my breath again (it had been taken away by the power of the music… and the kid in front of us)… and we headed for Laura’s apartment. After a stop at the store, and a brief recap of the evening’s events for her sister Karin, we cashed out at about 1 am. Lucky me, I had a meeting scheduled in Cadillac at 8 am, so we got up Friday morning at 5:15, left GR about 6, and started another work day.

On the drive home, Laura and I sipped our morning beverages and chit chatted. I noticed a semi truck in front of us with a very simple logo, and no real explanation of what they produced. I wondered aloud to myself, ‘S. Abraham & Sons Incorporated… I wonder what they make?’
‘Oh, they’re all over,’ she replied. ‘It’s a vending company. Chips and stuff. In fact, we saw 2 of their trucks on our way down yesterday.’
‘Wow. That’s a lot of sons’ I joked.
‘Yeah, kinda like Father Abraham.’

What are the chances?

Friday night was my sister Olivia’s high school graduation. I expected it to be very emotional, but it was nice. No one in our family really cried – mainly because we were all so preoccupied with keeping little Ella quiet. (You know how it is when one family is at an event and the little kid isn’t happy with her snacks, bottle, books, blanket, stuffed animals, Grandma’s keys, ANYTHING and just keeps making noise? Yeah, we were THAT family).

Yesterday we spent most of the day at subsequent graduation open houses, which is what the next 3 weekends will be like. Actually, I think I’ll be seeing several people at Livy’s open house that I haven’t seen since Lacey’s 2 years ago!

I’m sure your dying to see my sweet sister in her graduation gown… so I’ll be sure and attach a photo soon. In the meantime, I’m going to relax. I hope you all have a great Memorial day tomorrow!

on my iPod

First of all, it's just nice to say that... 'on MY iPod.' That's a wonderful thing.
Next, these are a few tunes that are getting some major play right now... just feel like sharing.

Joy Williams - "Hide"
Nichole Nordeman - "Live"
Lisa Gungor - "The Big and the Small"
Will Smith - "Lost and Found"
Beth Waters - "Sweaters"
Cary Brothers - "Blue Eyes"
Shane Barnard - "Sweet Illumination" & "Psalm 13"
Shawn McDonald - "Take My Hand"
The Afters - "Beautiful Love"
Eisley - "Telescope Eyes"
Cold Play - "Speed of Sound"
The Carpenters (no kidding) - "Close to You" (my wild card - secret weapon, get pumped up for a new day song... or maybe just for karaoke)

A little love for my readers

There are times when your heart feels especially full. There are the moments that happen when you hear a great piece of music that moves you, or you step out of the office after a particularly long day to the scent of freshly blooming lilac bushes. I’m having one of those moments.

In celebration of the perfect summer weather, and the tender heart I’m feeling about my life right now, I’m going to pay tribute to a few of the people in my life, namely the ones that I know check out this blog from time to time.

To Lacey –
You are an incredible mom. You’re attentive, fun, wise and genuinely caring toward your family. I’m so proud of you. Plus, you’re beautiful… I think your post-baby body is better than the one you had before! (She’s my sister ya’ll, I can say that! Plus, she’s smashing!)

To Olivia –
You’ve completed your high school course successfully, but the best is yet to come. You’re talented and you have a good head on your shoulders. I’m excited to see where God takes you. Your life is really just beginning… the beginning of something beautiful.

To Jon –
Every time my dad relates to me a conversation that he had with you, I feel choked up, in a good way. I’m so thrilled and touched to know that God is working so strongly in your life. Keep sharing and listening for His direction. I know that there is a gift of discernment on your life. It’s evident. Plus, you are a true worshiper, the CD you made me rocks. Let’s do some more collaborating soon?

To Laura –
I know that you regularly read my blog, and it does my heart good to know that you’re reading and enjoying it. I hope I always tell you enough how much I appreciate you as a friend and am thankful that I have you in my life. When I think about how much our relationship has changed since high school I’m amazed at how we’ve grown up. Isn’t it nice? As much as we’re both in transitions with our lives, relationships, etc, I am thankful that our friendship is a constant in the middle of so many variables. I know I’ve told you a thousand times how much that day last year at your little house meant to me, but I think about if often. God used you as a vehicle to touch a hurting place in my heart that day. In those moments of pure silence, you said so much.

(Plus, you’ve got a great fashion sense…. I mean c’mon, you have the same coat at Katy Huckle!!! Looking forward to Les Mis tomorrow night!)

To Dan P –
I think it’s hilarious that we had that little miscommunication. I guess our friendship has a way of reminding me that we are so human – and that’s okay. Plus, there’s really no place on the web quite like www.danportnoy.com. Make sure I get a bumper sticker!

To John –
You’re an incredible writer. You’re half way across the country now, but it sounds like you’re adjusting well. Any office has got to be more stimulating than the one in Bowling Green! Keep writing about your frightening fish escapades and pathetic-budget-worthy grocery choices, I’m enjoying the read. I think it’s great that you’re trying your hand at the sitcom writing as well… Kate’s a clever one, I’m expecting good things.

To Amy (Acker) Edwards –
We’re light years away from that apartment aren’t we? Look at you, a happily married mom. You’re heart is huge and so is your talent. You’ve always had such a knack for making new things come out great. You’re a talented musician with a distinct voice, the pride of any employer, and you have an eye for home, décor, clothing and album pages. Plus, you’re clever and you have the best Texas accent in all of Pennsylvania! Kee Koo!

To Marybeth –
I’m so glad you posted at my site. I’ve so enjoyed reading about your life and getting to know you through your posts. I enjoy every rambling of this southern goddess!
http://ladybellagrace.blogspot.com/

To Matt Jacobs –
I’m proud to know that I could inspire you to begin your own blog. I check it out on a regular basis even if you think no one ever does! I’m totally up on how the house renovation is going, and the mission statement you’ve been working on for your life. Keep up the good work, and ‘jamming’ out to those Rich Mullins tunes... hehe…

To Jess –
When I need a good dose of reality written in an eloquent fashion – I head straight for Garish and Tweed. After all, it IS fun to say. Thanks for letting me peek in on your life. (I’m glad to hear that you love your walls so much!!)

If there is anyone else who frequents my blog and I didn’t mention you, I’m so sorry! I guess you’ll just have to leave me a post at the end of this Love Letter to my Adoring Fans so I can include you in the next rant.

P.S. This was really a Love Letter from An Adoring Fan to each of YOU…

only partially omniscient

I read a quote recently that struck me… it’s been rolling around in my head ever since. Isn’t interesting that when something hits you like that, a concept, a thought, a verse, it begins to be a filter for everything you hear or think about. Maybe that’s just me, but I have a sneaking suspicion that happens to you too. That is what this quote did to me.

“Our insecurities are so generic.”

We all have struggles. We all have things that we deal with, things that we struggle though, and can feel we are coming up on the side of needing more, needing to be more. Realizing that we are (as my pastor in Tulsa used to say) ‘Only Partially Omniscient,’ and coming to grips with our own humanity is a humbling experience. It’s the idea that Watermark refers to as being “Driven to Humility.” Basically, if we’re seeking God’s change in our lives, we need to be prepared to press in when we weather the tough times. Going through changes that iron out the wrinkles in our relationship with Him, that apply pressure to our imperfections can be painful.

Painful to our pride.

Painful to our desires that are about self.

This is the most beautiful kind of pain.

My brother in law and I recently worked on a song together and the bridge were words that reflect this change to me… “You love me just as I come, you love me just as I am, but you love me just too much to let me stay this way – You want me closer.” He wants us close so badly. And this is one of the purposes for Grace.

My prayer lately is that God would reveal the silly insecurities that cause me to spend too much time worrying about Me. He wants us to be introspective, but not self-centered. I’m willing to let Him put those areas under the microscope. This is both a dangerous, and beautiful feeling...

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Gotta love it...

Do you ever get that feeling that people know you a little too well? Like, you run into someone you know who starts a story with 'Now don't freak out...' just because they can guess you're about to overreact to some bizarre news they are commencing to tell you...? (Like the time the IRS called to tell me that my ex and I were being audited on back taxes and we had a few hundred dollars to pay in, but he had been forewarned to begin the conversation with those 4 words...)

I guess this works in positive ways too. Like last Friday, I'm in Traverse City's Pier One with my boss, and I get a phone call from my brother-in-law Jon.

'Hey Dude, what's up...? Is this a bad time?'
'No, it's alright, I'm just working... (hehe)' I reply.
'Hey, I wanted to tell you, we got the first season of Scrubs in on DVD today at work. It's on sale, and if you pick up a coupon at the door, you can get another 15% off.'
'Sweet,' I say, 'I just read about that DVD release in the People Magazine today. I'm SO in.'
'Alright - I just thought you'd appreciate knowing... Peace.'

And there it is - my family members feeding my addictions. I love Scrubs. I think Zach Braff is kinda strange looking, but still attractive - the humor is clever, sharp, and who can pass up a half hour full of perfectly placed sound effects? You gotta love that every gesture gets some sort of sound effect...

I started watching the DVDs and realized one thing. I should have started watching the show A LOT sooner. I really just got into it this season, but watching the pilot and the first handful of episodes are teaching me some valuable Scrubs trivia I never knew.

Like, did you know JD and Turk were friends in high school, roommates in college AND THEN got residency at the same hospital? Or that Carla was SUPER mean when the show started and she's mellowed out quite a bit? Elliot used to say even worse sticking-her-foot-into-her-mouth comments than she does now, and Dr. Kelso has called the guys 'Sport' even from the first episode.

I think NBC's best move was pairing up Scrubs and The Office on Tuesday nights. I for one thought it was the best must-see TV ever, and felt supremely happy when they aired them back to back.

What am I trying to say here? Nothing really, just a big thanks to my brother in law Jon for pointing me in the direction of such a bargain - and so many hours of happiness.

It's nice to be known...

Sleep = crime?

Is a sincere love of sleeping-in a sign of laziness? I mean, just thinking about getting a chance to fall asleep on a Friday night without setting an alarm for the next morning (and feeling overjoyed about it), is that so wrong? I hope not. Sitting here at the computer, it's nearly noon and I just woke up. Yeah.

I was thinking about that quote 'make haste while the sun shines' and I almost felt a little guilty - but I got over it. It's a cloudy day anyhow. I guess you'd be considered lazy if you did it like every day, or even every Saturday - but this was a special treat... And I'm thrilled about it.

Just think, some day, I'll be married with children and days like this will evade me, even on vacation!

I can't let one pass me by... And I'm determined not to! :)

Running on Empty

That blog title is not how I feel, although I border on it from time to time, it's the title of a new book a friend gave me yesterday. When she handed it to me she said, "This book completely changed my life." I couldn't wait to get started reading it.

When I tucked myself into bed last night (after much jubilation in Uchenna and Joyce's Amazing Race win and subsequent defeat of Rob and Amber)and cracked it open, I was amazed at how much I almost immediately saw myself in the pages. It's obvious that author Fil Anderson is addressing a common issue in the world, and the church. I guess we can get caught up in so much busyness we get distracted from the very purpose our lives are supposed to be about. In so many words, we should be 'learning to live WITH God instead of FOR God.'

Mr. Anderson notes, "In his kindness and mercy, God has shown me that I am here to play, to dream and to drift as much as to do the hard work I've been given. I believe God recognizes there's holiness to my play that's as sacred and real as the holiness of my prayer. I believe God knows that without playing there will eventually be no praying. God knows that constant noise, endless activity, and the dreadfully hurried pace that permeate our culture will misdirect your life and mine just as placing a compass near a magnet will draw the needle away from true north."

Reading this paragraph catapulted me back into a distinct and life changing moment I experienced last year. (As I typed that last sentence, I had a faint memory of typing this in my blog before, so forgive me if I've already written it. Now where was I...?) I was driving back to the office after my lunch break during a particularly upsetting time in my life, when the Lord whispered something to my heart while sitting at a stop light. It was this simple 7 word sentence... 'Life slows down in the quiet place.' Ever since then, this constant reminder of God's desire to connect with us in a still moment has come back to me several times. It's how I remember to quiet myself when life gets hurried.

Speaking of a hurried life, mine has slowed down a bit this week. We shot a car ad today (by the way if you see footage of a gray F-150 tearing up private property and cherry groves... it wasn't me), and will be in the office all day tomorrow. I'm thankful for lulls in our work when they come, even if they are just for a couple of days. Next week is booked solid again...

All this typing about a hurried, distracted, obligatory life is wearing me out... So on that note, I am going to take an hour to relax and watch a movie with my family.

Remember to take it easy. Make your aim to be busy learning to live WITH God... not just to be busy.

Keyboard Confessions

Okay - I'll admit it.

I have a vice.

If you watched Raymond tonight you'll know what I mean about admissions - they're not fun to make. (For those of you who didn't, Amy's perfectly reserved parents came for a visit and Robert caught her mom smoking outside during the night. It was her 27 year old secret... plus, she was married to a junior high principal who was known for lecturing smoking students with the words 'Why don't you just drink poison?' Of course it was hilarious. You just gotta feel so bad for Robert getting caught up in everything...) But what does that have to do with my admission? Not much really - except that I'm about to make one, so brace yourself.

I'm addicted to magazines.

It's not like a drug addiction, and it's not really the 'gossip' factor that I like. It's pure entertainment. I'm amazed at stars' real lives... AND I am a self proclaimed red-carpet-gown-aficionado.

C'mon let's face it, it's easy to get sucked in for a catchy headline. Way before the world found out that Britney was really pregnant (and a cheer was heard from my lips), I was convinced that she was... a belly bump that large anywhere in the world - common. In Hollywood? - Definitely a bun in the oven.

Give me a People, In Style, Us Weekly - I'm a happy girl. I mean, where else can you have 2-3 hours of entertainment, colorful gowns, shoes and accessories AND stimulating reading that leads to even more stimulating conversation - and all for Four bucks a pop?! (Plus, who doesn't dig seeing an embarrassing photo of a Desperate Housewife buying groceries... at least a little bit?!)

You can understand my thrill at the newest news today then -- Ben Affleck and Jen Garner... Expecting. Don't get me wrong, I'm not encouraging pre-marital sex or anything. Ben & Jen Garner having a baby works... Ben and J-Lo... Oh no.

Tolerate my rantings, or join in the celebration. Let's just hope Baby Ben/Jen ends up with a half way decent name. Nothing bizarre like Apple or Coco. Something tells me that this ballcap wearing duo will be totally down to earth about baby names too. One can only hope... and you know I'll be wondering about it for the next 9 months.

We all have a guilty pleasure or two, right? Well, this is mine - and I'm not going to feel the need to defend or rationalize it. I'm proud to feel 'in the know.' So what if my friends and I refer to stars by their first names like we're friends?! It's all part of the game.

Just think, it could be worse... I could be reading Star!

A long post - making up for lost time...

Funniest, most random & somehow typical moment of the day:
My dad telling me that he wanted to rent a movie tonight... Something with "Horses, wolves, or Jackie Chan, because he does all his own stunts, ya know." Yeah dad, I do. And if that wasn't funny enough, he turns on the TV and "Rush Hour 2" is actually on. He is a happy man.

Most unexpected pleasure of the day:
A surprise "I voted for Pedro" T-shirt from a co-worker. Sweet.

Best news today:
I don't have to work tomorrow, and I could lay in bed and watch Jackie Chan movies all day if I wanted to... but I don't.

I used to make blogging a regular part of my day; and I was happy with that. Unfortunately life has gotten just too busy lately. My new plan is to blog once a week and if I get to post any more often we can celebrate together.

I just started re-reading a book that I haven't picked up for the better part of a year. Last night, I decided to include a passage and highly recommend it on my blog today.

The book is called 'Waking the Dead' by John Eldredge (this thing doesn't let me underline... just wanted to let you know that I know it's grammatically correct to underline book titles :). You know it's going to be good when you crack it open to the first page and your eyes fall onto this quote by Saint Irenaeus... "The glory of God is man fully alive." From what I remember (and am being re-enlightened to), this book is all about understanding that we are in a battle for our heart. Circumstances, evil plots sent to thwart you from accomplishing all that God has for you, and hurtful people can lodge, what he refers to as, 'arrows' into your heart. These are woundings and scars that never seem to go away. Basically, we are in a war to keep our hearts tender and hurt-free. The following is the bulk of a chapter I read today. I am including a rather long passage, but it's so good, and a relatively quick read that is so worth the time.

"Go fall in love. Do something heroic; save someone's life. Spend a month in some breathtaking spot, doing nothing productive at all. Take up painting. Have yourself a good laugh - the kind that sends tears down your face and makes you grip your side for the ache of it. Listen to a beautiful piece of music. Live with courage. Tuck your child into bed; listen to her prayers; kiss her cheek. Find God. Then you will remember again that the heart is central. Not the mind, not the will. The heart.
So what then, is the heart? 'Heart in Scripture,' notes Charles Rylie, 'is considered the very center and core of life.' That's right. The heart is the deep center of your life. My heart is me. The real me. Your heart is you... for what shall we do if we dismiss ourself?
Christ did not die for an idea. He died for a person, and that person is you. But there again, we have been led astray. Ask any number of people why Christ came, and you'll receive any number of answers, but rarely the real one. "He came to bring world peace." "He came to teach us the way to love." "He came to die so that we might go to heaven." "He came to bring economic justice." On and on it goes, much of it based in a partial truth. But wouldn't it be better to let him speak for himself?
Jesus steps into the scene. He reaches back to a 400 year old prophecy to tell us why he's come. He quotes from Isaiah 61:1, which goes like this:
"The Spirit of the sovereign Lord is upon my because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners."
The meaning of this quotation has been clouded by years of religious language and ceremonial draping. What is he saying? It has something to do with good news, with healing hearts, with setting someone free. That much is clear from the text. Permit me a translation in plain language:
God has sent me on a mission. I have some great news for you. God has sent me to restore and release something. And that something is you. I am here to give you back your heart and set you free.
Now, Christ could have chosen any one of a 1000 other passages to explain his life purpose... But here, at the opening moment of his ministry, he chose this passage above all others; this is the heart of his mission. Everything else he says and does finds its place under this banner. I am here to give you back your heart and set you free. THAT is why the glory of God is man fully alive: it's what he said he came to do. But of course. The opposite can't be true. "The glory of God is man barely making it, a person hardly alive." How can it bring God glory for his image, his own children to remain so badly marred, broken, captive?
It is simply diabolical, despicable and downright evil that the heart should be so misunderstood... But there is our clue again. The war we are in would explain so great a loss. This is the last thing the Enemy wants you to know. His plan from the beginning was to assault the heart, just as the Wicked Witch did to the Tin Woodsman. Make them so busy, they ignore the heart. Wound them so deeply, they don't want a heart. Twist their theology, so they despise the heart. Take away their courage. Destroy their creativity. Make intimacy with God impossible for them.
Of course your heart would be the object of a great and fierce battle. It is your most precious possession. Without your heart you cannot have God. Without your heart you cannot have love. Without your heart you cannot have faith. Without your heart you cannot find the work that you were meant to do. In other words, without your heart you cannot have life. The question is, Did Jesus keep his promise? What has he done for our hearts? The answer will astound you."

Obviously the answer is that Jesus ransomed us. He is in love with our hearts. I know that ever since I was a little girl I have been in this type of war. So have you. How many times as an adult have you relived something hurtful that was said on the playground, or when humiliation overtook you in front of your friends? How many times have things that we've observed or experienced left an indelible mark on us? These are the little things that God cares about, and wants to heal.

This is something that I think about all the time. I am in a phase of life where I am seeking direction (aren't we all?). In times like these, we often battle discouragement, alienation, sometimes hopelessness or undue pressure, and it's just not God's way. I want to be in constant touch with my own heart, and the heart of God. It IS possible to be in a waiting period and still be "Fully alive." Let's face it, we're always waiting for something. What we shouldn't wait for is when we WILL BE fully alive. It should be today.

Indulge me a warm-hearted moment, please... I'm fully alive when I sing to the Lord. I'm fully alive at the first sip of a hot chai on a cold day. When I see my niece. When I see a newly budding tree. When I get a great deal on jeans. When I get an unexpected visit from an old friend. When I witness the magic of a first snow. When I get to encourage someone. When I can put away my sweaters and pull out skirts and sandals. When I pull out the sweaters again. When I get new understanding about a scripture that has been familiar since Sunday school. When I spend quality time with my family. When I finish a good book. When I get lost in an art project and stay up super late to finish it, just because I want to.

These things feed into my heart.

What makes you happy? What could you see yourself doing everyday? What makes you feel fully alive? I won't laugh if a Jackie Chan movie is in your top ten, like my dad. Okay, I'll admit it, I probably will laugh a little.