being part of the clan

My mom's side of the family is notable for several reasons. First of all, much to our pride, and the chagrin of PETA, there's my grandpa: Claude Pollington. Ever heard of him? Most likely not, unless you subscribe to World Bowhunter Magazine, or your living room is flanked with the mounted torsos of multiple woodland creatures, like his. (We can virtually give my niece Ella a guided tour of the 'Back 40' with one 'Name the Animals' trip around the living room. This is what my brother-in-law, who married-in, mind you, has dubbed the 'Animal Morgue'). Some might find it troubling that my extended family so celebrates the deer in this way. Maybe you're more comfortable knowing that Christmas is celebrated in their house by placing a felt-covered, plastic buck atop the tree instead of a star?

Either way it's a unique part of my mom's family history... One that involves being the daughter of the 'Whitetail Wizard' and on several occasions chit-chatting around the table with a certain rocker named, Ted Nugent about his latest kill. (I wish I was joking).

Another item that is reserved for the Pollington clan is middle-of-the-night-eating, or as I like to call it the-worst-thing-you-can-do-to-yourself. It's a nasty little habit. The trick to avoiding it is not waking up. If you drink a bottle of water before bed, you better have another one handy because you're going to need to wash down that peanut butter sandwich and Little Debbie snack cake you'll eat at 4:30 in the morning, by the light of your cell phone screen. Or so I've heard. Invariably, you'll also have trouble going back to sleep, so you'll lay awake, pre-writing this blog in your head, click the light on and then resolve to put it on paper when you realize you're breaking your blogger's block for the first time in a week. You'll click the light off, lay there thinking and then actually go online and post. This will most likely help you work up an appetite.

I come by it honestly though, I guess. My mom has told me that her brother Matt sometimes actually cooks a whole meal on the stove in the middle of the night. She has cracked me up with her ridiculous recounts of eating a bag of Lay's potato chips in bed, shoveling them into her mouth so long that she actually falls asleep with one hand in the bag. She apparently interprets the name brand of the chip as a suggestion of what it should do in bed next to you, as opposed to what it actually is, the name of the creator of the chips. (Finding that I've published this information to the web should thrill her. She'll probably come after me tomorrow night with her salty, greasy little mits).

There are benefits to being in the Pollington lineage though. Every holiday get-together is a riot. From my Aunt Cynda, who my dad can make laugh until she wheezes, to the crazy phenomenon of how there seems to be a new baby with each holiday, we enjoy and love each other... Even if the time is spent laughing about how similarly crazy we all are. And if that's not enough to be thankful for, we can celebrate the free drug samples we get in exchange for Dr. Grace's hunts on Grandpa's property.

There are even some benefits to being awakened during the night and then discovering hunger pangs. Once your bladder is relieved, your tummy is happy, and your blog has been scribbled out on a night stand note pad (then published to the web), you can get back to sleep... Really good, deep, sound sleep.

Hopefully.