An Im-Patent Message
A Couple of “Believe It or Nots” or you, my readers:
(For you to believe... Or not).
If you were not lucky enough to be born with dimples but want them, here’s a sure-fire solution. (Or so the inventor claimed). In 1896, a US patent (number 560,351) was granted for the ‘Dimple Drill.’ The dimple producing device had a rounded tip made of either ivory, marble or India rubber. To produce a dimple, simply press the drill’s tip on the desired area and turn the knob, rotating the dull tip into your face. The inventor claimed it could also be used to nurture and maintain already existing dimples. The patent ran out in 1996 for failure to pay maintenance fees. (Note from author – Quick! Run! Claim the rights to it! You’ll have to fight me for it.)
If water gets spilled on your computer keyboard, it takes about 3 days before things go haywire. First, your computer will scroll through the start menu and various other menus completely on its own. Then it will act like the keys are sticky – for some reason, all except the Number lock. Then it will stop working all together and you’ll start pulling out your hair because you can use your mouse to click around, but not actually type anything original. (Okay, maybe not you or me, but just ‘someone’ in general). Then you’ll have to wait 2 days while the computer guy pokes around town leaving you at the bottom of his list. When, and if he does in fact get to you, he’ll pick up the keyboard, and when water literally pours out of it (who would think it wouldn’t evaporate after 4-5 days!?), he’ll tease you relentlessly. But hey, you might just get it a perfectly silent new keyboard out of the deal.
Hypothetically speaking, I mean.
But you don’t have to take MY word for it… (Any fans of the well-placed Reading Rainbow reference?!).
(For you to believe... Or not).
If you were not lucky enough to be born with dimples but want them, here’s a sure-fire solution. (Or so the inventor claimed). In 1896, a US patent (number 560,351) was granted for the ‘Dimple Drill.’ The dimple producing device had a rounded tip made of either ivory, marble or India rubber. To produce a dimple, simply press the drill’s tip on the desired area and turn the knob, rotating the dull tip into your face. The inventor claimed it could also be used to nurture and maintain already existing dimples. The patent ran out in 1996 for failure to pay maintenance fees. (Note from author – Quick! Run! Claim the rights to it! You’ll have to fight me for it.)
If water gets spilled on your computer keyboard, it takes about 3 days before things go haywire. First, your computer will scroll through the start menu and various other menus completely on its own. Then it will act like the keys are sticky – for some reason, all except the Number lock. Then it will stop working all together and you’ll start pulling out your hair because you can use your mouse to click around, but not actually type anything original. (Okay, maybe not you or me, but just ‘someone’ in general). Then you’ll have to wait 2 days while the computer guy pokes around town leaving you at the bottom of his list. When, and if he does in fact get to you, he’ll pick up the keyboard, and when water literally pours out of it (who would think it wouldn’t evaporate after 4-5 days!?), he’ll tease you relentlessly. But hey, you might just get it a perfectly silent new keyboard out of the deal.
Hypothetically speaking, I mean.
But you don’t have to take MY word for it… (Any fans of the well-placed Reading Rainbow reference?!).
posted by Amber | 5:00 PM
1 Comments:
Of course a fan of a reading rainbow reference :)
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