Baby-steps out of the office...

It's funny how times change.

Today after church, we had a family dinner at The Timbers' (one of my favorite locally-owned restaurants). Basically this meal consisted of talking to my niece Ella, laughing at the faces she was making, listening to each other talk to Ella, laughing at each other laughing at her... etc.

We used to have scintillating conversation. Okay, maybe not scintillating, but we had actual conversation. Now we don't even talk about how today was the first day of Spring, and we still managed to get 6 new inches of snow yesterday, or that there was a killer Wake Forest game last night. It's bizarre how much adding a diaper-clad little person to the family can change the dynamics so much.

She is the center of attention, with no effort on her part. Although she's not walking yet (like a lot of one-year olds), she is doing this funny army crawl, scooting around, and has managed to learn how to go backward in her walker (Don't ask, it's a mystery to me too). My personal favorite is this cute little mad face she makes on command. Whenever one of us scrunches up our nose, and sticks our lips out, she copies while breathing loudly in and out through her nose. Hilarious. She says 'ouch' (but the -ch sounds like she's rolling her tongue like a Spanish sounding 'rrrrrr'), Cow (always in twos - 'Cow Cow'), your token Mama and Dada, and when asked where Mr. Sunshine is, she gestures toward her chest (whether or not she's wearing the bib with a cartoon smiling sun). It's so cute... and everyone in the restaurant knows that we think so. (Admit it, you're sitting there smiling right now aren't you? What is it about kids??)

To our credit, at least we're not THAT obnoxious, we don't really baby-talk her all that much, and although we get cracked up at her, we're not too loud. Yet. What's it going to be like when there are more of us? It'll be awhile before that happens.

I guess the point that I'm making is that there is just 'something' about a baby. Old people love to watch them, other babies get excited when one comes in the room.

The thing I always think about with Ella are the lines of the Watermark song "Noah." Nathan and Christy Nochels are the husband and wife team that make up the singing group. They wanted children for awhile before she finally got pregnant and then miscarried that child. It was devastating for them. Thankfully she got successfully pregnant again and had Noah. (They have since had another child, a girl). At any rate, once Noah was born, they wrote a song about the lessons they had learned from him - how having a child was like 'one more trip through this life, with different eyes to see.' The lines that always get to me are 'You'd reach out to the most unlovely of creatures, you're love is so unconditional....' and 'You don't think to be careful, how sweet is your love.'

I guess the idea of what Jesus refers to as 'Childlike faith' has always astounded me. This kind of faith just trusts, not necessarily blindly, but definitely innocently. Like Nathan & Christy refer to Noah, and I know to be true about Ella, they don't yet have the mental capacity to fear the unknown. They haven't been jaded or learned to love based on performance, appearance or success... they just love. Simply and purely.

They don't trust you because you've proven yourself over and over to be trustworthy - they just know that you love them, and you'll provide... They don't worry about whether or not they'll have new clothes tomorrow, that the car will start up, or that they'll have food on the table. I'm not suggesting that we exhibit childlike behavior, although it would be easier than going to work, but I am suggesting that we need to trust God fearlessly. In Matthew 6, Jesus repeatedly tells us not to worry. 'Don't worry about what you will eat, what you will wear...' As adults we are expected to work, to do our part - but our 'doing' or 'not doing' doesn't affect God's love toward us.

Choosing the simple faith is difficult. This is the paradox of the Bible. We are to grow up spiritually; to move from that place of 'milk drinking' to 'meat eating' in faith... We are to become mature in understanding and to seek wisdom from God. It's a delicate balance, growing up yet remaining tender and impressionable. Childlike faith should be at the center of the believing and seeking heart. We'll never 'get' it all - but as long as we let the little truths mesmerize us and we're learning the Words that He's trying to teach us, we are making steps toward Him and trusting Him with the details of our lives. In this, we can be assured that we are growing.

We should make more of an effort to live lives that celebrate others, to take joy in the littlest victories and to applaud growth of any kind. I'm making it a personal goal to learn how to trust God in a more real way. I want my life to reflect that 'she doesn't think to be care-full' type of faith. I know that evil is real, and I know that we need to make wise, educated decisions - but there's something faith-filled about taking a calculated risk in response to Christ - it's how we learn to grow up.